That Feeling

You know that feeling when everything seems important and meaningful?  Like what you just experienced is significant – and not just in your personal story, but that it has ripple effects into the meaning of the cosmos.  That you’ve just seen something about the universe.  Some little corner of truth that’s been revealed to you.

I used to feel that way a lot when I was in school.  I thought it was because I was young and hormonal, and you know how everything seems important when you’re a teenager?  Like it’s the end of the world when you don’t get something you hoped for, or the unbridled passion you feel about your interests – sports, bands, entertainment choices, etc.

Now, I’m not so sure.  I think that feeling of significance has to do with learning.  With being impressionable, and open to the life experiences you’re having. When you’re in school, you’re trying to find your way in life, and to learn more about the world around you.  You’re open to the possibilities of life – what yours could be, what the world could look like one day – hope.

For a while I had sort of closed myself off.  Basically resigning myself to “this is my life – my routine.”  But now, I feel like I’m opening up again to possibilities – to hope and love and wonder. Now I think this feeling is about truth that is being revealed to us all our lives.  The question is, are we listening?

Last night I went with a lovely group of people from Kairos to watch Life of Pi after a delicious Thanksgiving dinner.  I don’t want to ruin the movie for anyone, so I’ll keep it vague.  It’s a beautiful film, full of mysteries and wonder, full of hardships, struggle and survival.  And it’s no spoiler to say that it’s a story of triumph.  At its core, though, Life of Pi is a story about what narrative we choose to believe about life and the universe.  Do we want something we can completely understand with our rational minds, or do we want a story with things we can’t explain, high stakes, and moments that transcend what should be possible?

This is one of the reasons I choose faith.  I want THAT kind of a story.  Plus, Jesus calls to me the way he called to Pi as a boy.  But that’s another story for another time.

That feeling of importance happened to me not just while watching Life of Pi, but also while watching Glee this morning.  Odd, I know, since the show’s topic isn’t even in the same vein.  For a show that I stopped watching last year, Glee has surprised me this season with great storylines, fun songs, and some moving moments.  This, by the way, is why I love TV.  For these moments of insight into life, and characters we can learn and grow with over time.

In this particular Thanksgiving episode, it’s actually superhero-themed.  This is definitely a spoiler alert, so don’t read on, if you haven’t watched it!  I found my heart going out to the characters, specifically Blaine, Jake, Ryder & Marley.  They were all experiencing things that aren’t just unique to high schoolers, but common to the human struggle.

It’s so easy for us to write people off – to judge them and move on.  Or to keep our distance so that somehow their weirdness or their mistakes don’t rub off on us.  But that’s not the way.  That’s a response out of fear and selfishness.  If we take a moment to get out of ourselves and respond out of love, things can be much different.

Poor Blaine made a mistake by cheating on Kurt.   He was so torn up about it, and vilifying himself.  It reminded me of Kristen Stewart’s recent indiscretions, or Ned Stark from Game of Thrones, or countless others.  One misstep shouldn’t define a person, and the need to find forgiveness for yourself and others is a big life issue that we all face.

Similarly, Jake, Ryder and Marley all need to feel they belong and are accepted in different ways.  Jake needs to have people who include him despite his mixed racial & religious identity.  Ryder needs to know what his learning problem is, and know there’s a way to get help.  Marley needs to know she’s beautiful, and doesn’t have to throw up to lose weight.

I can think of so many examples of people, myself included, who have needed to belong, in one way or another.  We all have this need to be included.  I love that Glee not only showed this need, but also showed the welcoming solution.

This is honestly one of the reasons I have the faith that I do.  How freeing that God tells us we belong?!  We don’t need to be perfect.  Despite all our issues, mistakes, disabilities, and pain, he loves us and includes us.   I’m not trying to be all preachy, but that’s what I think this feeling of importance has been about for me.  This is the little corner of truth that’s being revealed.  That no matter our situation, God loves us.  And He calls us to love each other.

It’s both that simple, and that hard.  So I guess the question now is, what am I going to do about it?  

Who do I need to be accepting?  Where can I show love?  I’m starting the book Love Does by Bob Goff.  And I’m starting to dream about what does the action of love mean in my life in both small and big ways?  I hope you’ll join me in figuring out how to love – what that means for your life and your own corner of the world.